First, I apologize for going crazy with this blog thing and then fizzling out. I LOVE my job, but teaching tends to take over my life. Add to that getting my son out the door to Guatemala and then crying on the floor of my closet in the fetal position for 5 months, and I have bombed at blogging. A good friend of mine called me out on that fact last week, so I've crawled out of the closet and am typing with great ferociousness! (P.S. - Thanks Nathalie!)
So...my middle child will be turning the big 1-6 this week! My adorable 6'4" "little boy" blew my mind a week ago. He announced that all he wanted for his birthday was to see the Utah Symphony perform Gershwin's "An American in Paris". Given the fact my son is positive that he was plopped on this earth 100 years too late, I shouldn't have been surprised. He would have been a Glenn Miller groupie for sure!!!! Anyway, I conceded and we attended the symphony together this past Friday night. As I listened to the amazing skill of the musicians, I got thinking about my few opportunities to be on stage. There is nothing like the thrill of being part of a group of people making good music and listening to an audience respond with applause. Unfortunately, as is my way, I managed to beg for all of the attention to be on me by doing something incredibly "Amy-ish" on a few occasions. I give you now the top 5 performance debacles of my youth. Enjoy!
5. The "Great-Music-Stand-Light-Battery-Blow-Up" of 1999 -
I was lucky enough to do a brief stint with the Murray City Symphony. Every year, they would host a sing-a-long of Handel's "Messiah" at Christmastime. During an especially moving part of the piece, one of the batteries in my stand light exploded and blew the cover off. It was loud, of course, but not as loud as the scream that I let out. It was one of the first signs that my caffeine intake might be too high.
4. The "I-Will-Not-Sing-of-Such-Filth" Kindergarten Program of 1976 -
Yeah...I may have misunderstood Miss Driscol, my kindergarten teacher. When she taught us the lyrics to "Home on the Range" in preparation for a big show we would be putting on for the parents, I thought she said "Seldom has heard a discouraging word". I naturally (???) assumed that Seldom was an uptight lady with a severely tight hair bun who did all of the cooking for the foul-mouthed cowboys. On principle, I refused to sing the song. I mean I still rode the stick pony around on stage because that's just too cool, but my lips were sealed!
3. The "Is-That-My-Lung-on-the-Floor?" incident of 1987 -
Again with the "Messiah"! My high school decided to combine the orchestra and choir and perform parts of the music for a Christmas concert. The only way to fit everyone on stage at the same time was to lower the pit about a foot and put the orchestra in it. I had been fighting a cold and lost during the concert. I started coughing so profoundly that I had to crawl out of the pit in my skirt in front of the whole audience and slink away to a drinking fountain. Guess what...that's not the embarrassing part! After the performance, I was trying to avoid talking about what had happened, so I distracted my family by pointing out - very discreetly - the boy I had a crush on. He was talking to his family about 15 feet away, so I tried to speak in a whisper. My lovely grandma, however, decided he had a nice "posterior end" and expressed that feeling in not so much a whisper! Given the fact that she was still using a Tom Selleck calendar up until the end of her days, I guess I shouldn't have been surprised.
2. The "Where-Did-She-Go?" Dance Recital of 1984 -
Ah, dance recitals. Bless my parents for attempting to help me learn how to coordinate the gangly limbs attached to this 5'12" frame. However, it was all in vain. The crowning moment of my dance career was when I was part of a dance set to a pretty rockin' version of "Yankee Doodle Dandy". For the big finish, the dancers and I formed a huge circle and did this slide thingy around and around in the circle. As I came around to the front of the stage, I slid so spectacularly that I slid right off of the stage. It was the spats, I tell you! If you every want to see the video footage with my dad's commentary ("Where is she? Where did she go???), just ask. I'll say no, but ask....
1. The"Did-That-Really-Just-Happen?" Armageddon of 1986 (With a follow up "oops" in 1987) -
So it was my first time on "tour" with the Granite Youth Symphony. For those who don't know, it is a symphony made up of kids from the various high schools of the district I was in. Each summer, we would have early morning rehearsals for about 3 weeks and then take the show on the road. That particular summer we were touring from Utah to St. Louis and back. Along for the ride was a guest vocal soloist who was singing a medley of show tunes. In the middle of one of the concerts, the soloist went in for a long and super high note. The whole room held their breath as she held on to that note for 3 days (give or take a few hours). The only thing that could have broken the magic of that moment was, well...me! Out of nowhere, my bridge just exploded into a thousand little pieces. If you don't know, the bridge is the little wooden piece that holds the strings up. People were weaving back and forth as they were pelted by little pieces of bridge carnage! Strings went flying in all directions! The soloist squealed with shock! Mothers were throwing themselves on their children to shield them from the nightmare! Okay..I might have added that last one for effect. I THOUGHT that nothing worse could ever happen during a performance until a year later when I dropped my bow and it landed in the lap of a guy on the front row. Sigh.....
And there you have it. I hope you all have a fantastical Monday!
-Amy
