Ok - I know it's enough already about school.  However, I found myself thinking today about the incredibly idiotic things I did as a student.  So...this particular blog is a gift to all students returning to school.  Consider it a list of "non-examples".  Just DON'T do anything listed below, and you will have a successful school year! 

1. DO NOT hide your thermos of milk under your bed so your mom doesn't know that you didn't drink it at lunch.  If you do hide it under your bed, DON'T forget it's there! To this day, cottage cheese inspires unpleasant visual memories!  Sorry Mary (the sister who shared a room with me)...

2. DO NOT keep a comb and/or pick in your back pocket.  I realize this was a bigger problem in 1982 than in 2012, but I don't care who you are - that's just good advice right there!  Sorry Jordache jeans....

3. DO NOT attempt to recreate the Trojan War using produce.  English teachers don't appreciate projects that attract fruit flies.  *True story - The Greeks were potatoes, the Trojans were celery, and Helen of Troy was a cantaloupe.  Oh yeah - and Odysseus's son was a tator tot.  Get it?  Dad is a potato...he's a tator tot?  Bwahahahahah!!!!  Kudos to my project partner, Melinda, for coming up with that!  Sorry English teacher lady....

4. DO NOT leave your Bionic Woman lunchbox in the lunch crate if you EVER want to see it again!  Sorry is what they'll be if I ever, ever find the little thief....

5. DO NOT attempt to play the recorder with your nose (this tip is mostly for the fourth graders out there).  Sorry Mrs. Anderson....

6. DO NOT attempt to fool your high school teacher into believing that the "solar oven" you made by covering an umbrella in tin-foil REALLY baked the cookies you handed him - especially if he knows your friends have Home Ec. that same period and the window to said Home Ec. room is on the ground floor.  Sorry Mr. Gadd....

7. DO NOT really bring a pillow and slippers to business class and settle in for a nap just because your teacher suggested you should do so if you truly found her class made you want to fall asleep.  Sorry Mrs. Lady-Whose-Name-I-Can't-Remember...

8. DO NOT really bring a picnic basket and blanket and set the picnic up on the floor of your math class just because your teacher suggested you should do so if you truly felt you needed to bring a snack to class.  Sorry Mr. Chong Wong....

9. DO NOT put foundation on a nose cast thinking it will help it blend in with your face only to discover it turns a sickly orange color (Ummm...that's a story for another day....)  Sorry student body of Taylorsville High....

And finally....

10.  DO NOT believe your older sister when she tells you that the latest trend at the junior high is to wear your REALLY long night shirt tucked into your jeans.  Sorry to the creators of Garfield (Odie was the featured character on said night shirt).... Sorry to the world for being the reason the term "bubble butt" was created (have you ever tried to get a night shirt tucked in without creating a donut effect around the mid-section.  Good luck!)...  Sorry to my sister for leaving the thermos of milk under your bed as retaliation...

Best of luck to all of the students out there.  I hope this has helped!

After a 3 month break, it is officially time to get to work!  In the spirit of returning to teach 6^th grade for another year, I think I’ll share a school story with you.

In order to understand this story, you need a teeny, tiny bit of background.  My original major was in Music Education.  I was going to be Mr. Holland…only younger…and a girl….  However, I happened to be expecting my first child while I did my student teaching.  For the first 6 months of his life, he would burst into tears at the sound of any sort of string instrument, so I moved on to greener - or quieter - pastures and ended up not being able to renew my teaching certificate. 

About 12 years later, the principal at my boy’s elementary school hired me to implement a computer program called “YPP”.  Yes - YPP.  Try saying that repeatedly to elementary students WITHOUT making them respond with things like, “Because I had too many juice boxes at lunch”, etc.  Oh yeah - you should also know he was willing to hire me for YPP because I had a Bachelor’s in Music Education.  For those of you playing at home, that would be a B.M. Seriously!  I am not making that up!  Mine was a rare degree that didn’t fall under the umbrella of B.A. - NOT pleased when I found that out!  Fearing I was stuck in a disturbing trend professionally (???), I started thinking about renewing my certificate and getting back into the classroom.  When my principal got wind (no pun intended) of my intentions, he suggested I apply to be a substitute teacher in my school district to get my feet wet. So I did….

My first substitute job was for a first grade teacher who was under the weather.  I walked into her “relo” feeling completely confident in my abilities to keep 25 or so adorable little first graders under control.  After all, the sun was shining, the kids knew me from YPP and seemed to like me, and I had age and experience on my side.  How hard could it really be?  Ummmm….let’s just say….I LOST….by a wide, wide, WIDE margin!!!

Surprisingly, however, she called me again Thursday to ask me back for Friday as she was still not feeling well.  In retrospect, somebody probably ought to look into having the wisdom of that decision listed on the back of the Nyquil bottles under “WARNING”.  Nevertheless, I was up to bat again.  I spent the better part of a sleepless night trying to figure out how to “win” against a group of people smaller than me, 1/6 my age, and, in theory, less intelligent and mature than myself.  The next day, I walked into that classroom and got right to it.  To my surprise, all of my “plans” were working like a charm.  According to the schedule, a volunteer was coming in first thing in the morning to teach a mini-lesson, and I had all of the little darlings quietly looking at books just moments before the volunteer’s arrival.  I was 110% sure that this volunteer was going to walk in and be so completely amazed by my substituting skills that some sort of trophy would be coming my way.  So there they were, reading like angels when the volunteer arrived.  Just as I was about to bask in the warmth of my success, one of the little boys that had been particularly “special” on Tuesday jumped up, did a triple somersault, stuck an amazing landing, and yelled “tada”!  Horrified, I asked the volunteer to go ahead and begin their lesson while I had a quick visit with my young friend out on the ramp leading up to the door.  Knowing that the volunteer was standing right next to the window that looked out on the ramp, I knelt down by my little friend, plastered on the sweetest face I could muster, and gave this little boy a piece…or chunk…of my mind - complete with intense finger wagging!  When I felt I had sufficiently expressed my feelings, the young man and I headed back into the room.  We were about two feet in the door, when the boy decided he owed the volunteer an apology as well.  I would have been thrilled by this turn of events had the apology not consisted of these two words:  “Sorry dad!”  Uh yeah…I was pretty sure my name was still going to be turned in…just maybe NOT to the award’s committee.  Bummer….

Despite a rocky start, I am super happy to be headed into a new year with an amazing new group of kids!  To all of my teacher friends out there, best wishes for a fantastical new school year!

Notes to self:  1. Do not blog when tired.  2. Do not mention music in the same blog where you plan on using the word "voila" because you may inadvertently type "viola".  3. Pray that former French and /or Orchestra teachers never discover you started a blog.  GOOD GRIEF!  Sorry for the typos in tonight's earlier post.

Hi.  My name is Amy, and I am addicted to talking.  I talk so much that the majority of the private music lessons which I teach double as "therapy sessions / talk shows".  I talk so much that my husband has literally not gotten a word in edge-wise since 1998.  I talk so much that I have, on SEVERAL occasions, left messages on people's voice mail in a SERIES of phone calls.  And yet....I have been completely stumped on what to talk about to launch this blog!  Go figure!!!

I finally settled on tackling the topic of cooking.  This is a topic that I, unfortunately, don't know a whole lot about.  I have mastered the basic cooking skills necessary to not die (and yes, I do include the ability to order food from a drive-through in a competent manner a "skill"!), but I am not a tremendously gifted cook.  What are my clues?  Well - 1. I made my first pie this last Christmas....with my 14-year-old son as my tutor (Home Ec. teachers are LITERALLY saving lives!).  2. I have had occasion to pick glass out of the ham I was preparing.  3. I learned the hard way that setting the oven to "broil" so you can eat your cake sooner is a bad idea. 4. I am almost up to double-digits on the number of hot pads that I have caught on fire.  And my personal favorite..."gravy-sicles".  Here's what happened:

I married a fantastic man who also happens to have serious cooking skills.  Unfortunately, after a few years of being married to me he mysteriously took a job that requires him to travel a lot (curious....).  He happened to be out of town one Sunday, which is the day we usually do a nice enough meal to warrant washable plates and, if we are feeling really "fancy", silverware!  I decided that I would make a roast.  I mean how hard is it really?  You just slap some salt on it and throw it in the oven.  He had even shown me how to use this nifty meat thermometer so I wouldn't have to use smoke signals to gauge whether or not the roast was done.  Great news - it worked!  When I pulled that perfectly cooked roast out of the oven, I got...well...cocky and decided to try my hand at gravy.  I called my mother, a fantastic cook who really did TRY to teach me, to get the recipe for gravy.  When she finished crying (?), she lovingly explained that gravy really didn't require a recipe as it was just milk and flour added to the meat drippings. There is a SLIGHT chance that I may have mixed up the ratio of milk to flour because the gravy was...ummm..."thick".  By thick I mean that when I pulled the spoon out of the pan, the gravy just kind-of stuck in one big clump to the spoon.  Abandoning the gravy, I went ahead and called my boys to the table to eat the magnificent roast.  My oldest, about 8 at the time, was mysteriously absent, so I went on a hunt.  I finally found him in my room.  He was crouched down on the floor next to my bed holding the phone.  I got there just in time to hear him whisper desperately, "Dad - you have to come home now!  She's making gravy-sicles!!!!!!"  Tragic.....

You should know that I am a not a total loss in the kitchen.  I have been told that I can make a mean chocolate chip cookie.  That's the good kind of "mean" - not the kind that requires an ER visit.  On occasion, people have asked me for the recipe.  To be honest, I am pretty sure the way my mom taught me to make them is all but identical to the one on the back of the Nestle bag of chocolate chips, but I'll share it anyway:

Mix 3/4 cups Crisco and 2 eggs.
Add 1 cup of white sugar and 1/2 cup dark brown sugar (pack that baby until it overflows!) and mix.
Add 1 cup flour.
When that looks hunky dory, add a dash of salt, 2 tsps. vanilla, and 1 tsp. baking soda.  Mix.
Add in 1 more cup of flour.
The best part.....add 1 bag of Nestle Semi-Sweet chocolate chips.

Cook a 350 degrees (I can't figure out how to make the degree mark on the computer!!) for 10-12 minutes.

Viola!  I hope you enjoy!!! 

Amy