Ok - I know it's enough already about school.  However, I found myself thinking today about the incredibly idiotic things I did as a student.  So...this particular blog is a gift to all students returning to school.  Consider it a list of "non-examples".  Just DON'T do anything listed below, and you will have a successful school year! 

1. DO NOT hide your thermos of milk under your bed so your mom doesn't know that you didn't drink it at lunch.  If you do hide it under your bed, DON'T forget it's there! To this day, cottage cheese inspires unpleasant visual memories!  Sorry Mary (the sister who shared a room with me)...

2. DO NOT keep a comb and/or pick in your back pocket.  I realize this was a bigger problem in 1982 than in 2012, but I don't care who you are - that's just good advice right there!  Sorry Jordache jeans....

3. DO NOT attempt to recreate the Trojan War using produce.  English teachers don't appreciate projects that attract fruit flies.  *True story - The Greeks were potatoes, the Trojans were celery, and Helen of Troy was a cantaloupe.  Oh yeah - and Odysseus's son was a tator tot.  Get it?  Dad is a potato...he's a tator tot?  Bwahahahahah!!!!  Kudos to my project partner, Melinda, for coming up with that!  Sorry English teacher lady....

4. DO NOT leave your Bionic Woman lunchbox in the lunch crate if you EVER want to see it again!  Sorry is what they'll be if I ever, ever find the little thief....

5. DO NOT attempt to play the recorder with your nose (this tip is mostly for the fourth graders out there).  Sorry Mrs. Anderson....

6. DO NOT attempt to fool your high school teacher into believing that the "solar oven" you made by covering an umbrella in tin-foil REALLY baked the cookies you handed him - especially if he knows your friends have Home Ec. that same period and the window to said Home Ec. room is on the ground floor.  Sorry Mr. Gadd....

7. DO NOT really bring a pillow and slippers to business class and settle in for a nap just because your teacher suggested you should do so if you truly found her class made you want to fall asleep.  Sorry Mrs. Lady-Whose-Name-I-Can't-Remember...

8. DO NOT really bring a picnic basket and blanket and set the picnic up on the floor of your math class just because your teacher suggested you should do so if you truly felt you needed to bring a snack to class.  Sorry Mr. Chong Wong....

9. DO NOT put foundation on a nose cast thinking it will help it blend in with your face only to discover it turns a sickly orange color (Ummm...that's a story for another day....)  Sorry student body of Taylorsville High....

And finally....

10.  DO NOT believe your older sister when she tells you that the latest trend at the junior high is to wear your REALLY long night shirt tucked into your jeans.  Sorry to the creators of Garfield (Odie was the featured character on said night shirt).... Sorry to the world for being the reason the term "bubble butt" was created (have you ever tried to get a night shirt tucked in without creating a donut effect around the mid-section.  Good luck!)...  Sorry to my sister for leaving the thermos of milk under your bed as retaliation...

Best of luck to all of the students out there.  I hope this has helped!