After a 3 month break, it is officially time to get to work!  In the spirit of returning to teach 6^th grade for another year, I think I’ll share a school story with you.

In order to understand this story, you need a teeny, tiny bit of background.  My original major was in Music Education.  I was going to be Mr. Holland…only younger…and a girl….  However, I happened to be expecting my first child while I did my student teaching.  For the first 6 months of his life, he would burst into tears at the sound of any sort of string instrument, so I moved on to greener - or quieter - pastures and ended up not being able to renew my teaching certificate. 

About 12 years later, the principal at my boy’s elementary school hired me to implement a computer program called “YPP”.  Yes - YPP.  Try saying that repeatedly to elementary students WITHOUT making them respond with things like, “Because I had too many juice boxes at lunch”, etc.  Oh yeah - you should also know he was willing to hire me for YPP because I had a Bachelor’s in Music Education.  For those of you playing at home, that would be a B.M. Seriously!  I am not making that up!  Mine was a rare degree that didn’t fall under the umbrella of B.A. - NOT pleased when I found that out!  Fearing I was stuck in a disturbing trend professionally (???), I started thinking about renewing my certificate and getting back into the classroom.  When my principal got wind (no pun intended) of my intentions, he suggested I apply to be a substitute teacher in my school district to get my feet wet. So I did….

My first substitute job was for a first grade teacher who was under the weather.  I walked into her “relo” feeling completely confident in my abilities to keep 25 or so adorable little first graders under control.  After all, the sun was shining, the kids knew me from YPP and seemed to like me, and I had age and experience on my side.  How hard could it really be?  Ummmm….let’s just say….I LOST….by a wide, wide, WIDE margin!!!

Surprisingly, however, she called me again Thursday to ask me back for Friday as she was still not feeling well.  In retrospect, somebody probably ought to look into having the wisdom of that decision listed on the back of the Nyquil bottles under “WARNING”.  Nevertheless, I was up to bat again.  I spent the better part of a sleepless night trying to figure out how to “win” against a group of people smaller than me, 1/6 my age, and, in theory, less intelligent and mature than myself.  The next day, I walked into that classroom and got right to it.  To my surprise, all of my “plans” were working like a charm.  According to the schedule, a volunteer was coming in first thing in the morning to teach a mini-lesson, and I had all of the little darlings quietly looking at books just moments before the volunteer’s arrival.  I was 110% sure that this volunteer was going to walk in and be so completely amazed by my substituting skills that some sort of trophy would be coming my way.  So there they were, reading like angels when the volunteer arrived.  Just as I was about to bask in the warmth of my success, one of the little boys that had been particularly “special” on Tuesday jumped up, did a triple somersault, stuck an amazing landing, and yelled “tada”!  Horrified, I asked the volunteer to go ahead and begin their lesson while I had a quick visit with my young friend out on the ramp leading up to the door.  Knowing that the volunteer was standing right next to the window that looked out on the ramp, I knelt down by my little friend, plastered on the sweetest face I could muster, and gave this little boy a piece…or chunk…of my mind - complete with intense finger wagging!  When I felt I had sufficiently expressed my feelings, the young man and I headed back into the room.  We were about two feet in the door, when the boy decided he owed the volunteer an apology as well.  I would have been thrilled by this turn of events had the apology not consisted of these two words:  “Sorry dad!”  Uh yeah…I was pretty sure my name was still going to be turned in…just maybe NOT to the award’s committee.  Bummer….

Despite a rocky start, I am super happy to be headed into a new year with an amazing new group of kids!  To all of my teacher friends out there, best wishes for a fantastical new school year!